Scenes from a Fitting Room: An Operators Tale Chapter 3

Phone rings...

Me: "Hello can I help you?"

Person: "Can you connect me to the Optical, not the Clinic I need the Optical"

Oh, you want Optical, ok I will connect you with the NASA Space Station, you old stupid hag! I know the difference you dick!

Phone rings...(I have changed the names of people in this part)

Me: "Can I help you?"

Person: "Is Tom in electronics there?"

Me: "We don't have a Tom in electronics, but anyone in that department can help you."

Person: "Well I need to buy a camera, and I talked to him...you know he has brown hair."

Me: "Ok, well anyone from that department can help you."

Person: " I think his name was John."

Me: "Ok, we have a John but he is not here today."

Person: "I have talked to him like 6 times and he is nice and I really need to talk to him about a camera."

Me: "Ok, well like I said he isn't here today."

Person: "Ok, thank you...oh what is your number there? I know I just called you but there was so many prompts."

First off, you can spin what you are trying to say in all directions, fact of the matter is that JOHN ISN'T HERE TODAY YOU GIANT ASSHAT! Also, really you fucking dialed the store! The prompts have nothing to do with the number you just dialed, you know what John doesn't want to talk to you ever because you are a dumb shit.

Me: "Hi how may items do you have today?"

Person: "3 on hangers and 1 not."

OK SO FOUR! FOUR! How about you just say FOUR!

Phone rings...

Me: "Hello how can I help you?"

Person: "Hello, I was out of town all weekend and I heard the power was out...do you have power?"

STEP OUTSIDE AND LOOK! DO YOU SEE LIGHTS ON? I AM NOT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY!

Phone rings...

Me: "Hello can I help you?"

Person: "Are you in the store?"

No I am on Neptune. Are you in your house?

Phone rings...

Me: "Can I help you?"

Person: "Do you cash checks there?"

Me: "No"

Person: "Do you know who does?"

A BANK fucker...ok continue...

Me: "Besides a bank...Wal-Mart."

Person: "Oh, yeah can you connect to them?"

WTF! Would you like me to connect you to the President as well?