Phone Rings....
Me: "Hello can I help you?"
Person: "Do you have a store on 69th ave?" (for obvious reasons I am making up streets and such, I can't out my job now can I)
Me: "Hmmmm, I do not think so."
Person: " Ya know, it has a car dealership next to it and a Subway, ya know?"
Me: "Uh, yeah no, I don't know and my listings do not have a store on that street."
Person: "Oh, ok well do you sell Khaki pants in a size 10?"
Me: "Uh, yes we do."
Person: "Ok, so if I go to the store on 69th ave, they will have them too?"
.....oh the store that doesn't exist? Yeah you go there and perhaps you can also find Jimmy Hoffa, who killed JFK and Jesus.
Phone Rings....
Me: "Hello can I help you?"
Person: " Do you carry the "Ab Coaster?"
Me: "No, we do not...it's online only."
Person: " Oh, can you tell me what else you carry online?"
Me: "You can go online and look, for we carry thousands of things."
Person: "Ok, do you have the number for online so I can call them and ask?"
GO ONLINE!!!! WTF!!!!!! Would you like me to wipe your ass for you as well?
Phone Rings....
Me: "Hello can I help you?"
Person: "What time does your clinic open?"
Me: "9am."
Person: "Oh ok, well I have a Urinary Tract Infection, and I am going to go to my Doctor, so do you think they will send my info over to my Doctor?"
Me: "I have no idea what they can or can not do at the clinic."
Person: "I know that, so call back at 9 then?"
YOU KNOW THAT! Then why did you even bother telling me about your UTI? Not only are you gross, but you also have no shame. Thanks for being stupid.
Phone Rings....
Me: "Hello can I help you?"
Person: "Do you have money orders?"
Me: "No."
Person: "Do you know who does?"
THE BANK!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BANK HAS THEM! Hi! Are you new to the world?
Phone Rings....
Me: "Hello can I help you?"
Person: " Does your Bakery, like bake cakes?"
Nope, we butcher stupid assholes who ask stupid asshole questions.
Phone Rings....
Me: "Hello can I help you?"
Person: "So I was told you have one iPad left, can you hold that for me?"
Me: "No, first come first serve."
Person: "Ok, can I buy it over the phone then come pick it up?"
Me: "No."
Person: "Hmmmm, ok so the only way I can get one is to actually come into the store?"
YES! Actually come into the store! PHYSICALLY COME INTO THE STORE! LIKE A HUMAN! This world has become so fucking lazy it makes me sick! No dude, sit at home and ask stupid fucking questions on the phone...then maybe if you think hard enough one will appear....oh I know pray for one. Yeah. Or maybe I can come over and slap your Mom for giving birth to a dumb fuck.
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