Scenes from a Fitting Room: An Operators Tale Chapter 8

Hello all! Are you ready for another fun filled Blog full of stupid fucking shit I have to deal with on a daily basis? Well let's get started!

I have a fresh one! Just happened today! 

There was this family, a Mom, 2 little Girls and what was obviously the Moms boyfriend...who might I add was shorter than me and looked like he did some time for like ass raping dudes in an alley or some shit! He just had that fucking look to him, like a Gay Hater who secretly wanted his dick in their asses, but acts like he is a Homophobe. Oh, anyway...they all wanted to go into the room together, I said "No, it's a Womans Fitting Room and well you are a Man." Those fucking hicks threw a fucking FIT! They just couldn't get way he wasn't allowed in! Like, they kept on and on and on! The Mom was in the room with the girls so she was shouting out to him and vice versa! 

Here's the deal in case upon reading this for some reason you do not get it either...It's the WOMEN'S FITTING ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't GO IN IF YOU ARE MALE! Just like you can't go into a Women's Restroom! What do you not get? If a Mom comes with her kids and sends her girls into the room and she see's a Man in there or hears him, she will fucking FLIP OUT! What is so hard to comprehend? You two are hideous fools who's kids will grow up to be stupid fucking losers just like you! I had to walk away, I was about to fucking snap and I would have gotten fired for sure because I am so sick of my job as it is that I would have went all out and there would have been no stopping me on what I would have said! 

Phone rings...

"Hello can I help you?"

"Is this Dunkin' Doughnuts?"

"Uh, no this is *beep* (beep for my store name..hahaha)

"Oh, uh...do you know where one is?"

"Nope"

"Do you know where one is anywhere?"

"Nope"

I just said NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also I said the name of the store and shit when you called...why wouldn't you just HANG UP? It's obviously not DUNKIN' DOUGHNUTS!!!!!!!! Also I am not fucking GOOGLE!

Random thoughts...

Hey kid, there is a reason why you are fat! Could it be that your Mom is pushing you around in the cart while you stuff your fat face with food? You are about 10 for christ cake...get out of the cart and walk FATTY CAKE!

Excuse me Mam, but your kids are mouth breathing idiots...you may want to teach them manners and bathe them from time to time. Perhaps teach them some knowledge instead of lard. Carry on.

Dear Co-Workers...Put your own fucking shit away after you try it on! You are still at work! I am going to come to your section and put shit all over and mess it up! I think I will load up a cart of random shit and bring it to you and then say..."Oh I don't want any of this" assholes.

Max items allowed is 6 motherfuckers! 6! Yes you have to get dressed and come get the rest and swap them out! No I am not going to bring them to you, how about you bring me a hammer so I can hit you in your skull! This isn't Macy's bitch! Get it yourself!

I hate when people call and say "I am looking for a particular item" Oh really? Isn't everything PARTICULAR when looking for it? "Hello, say can you tell me if you carry a random item?" COME ON! 

A wife is trying on clothes, her Husband says to her..."You just have one of those butts, I feel bad for an old man with Viagra." Really? Do ya? Because she is hideous and I can tell you now NO ONE IS LOOKING AT HER! 

And now for some tales from my Co-Worker Kacie! Copy and pasted from a message...if there is typos...don't blame me! 

Me: How can i help you?
Guest: Yeah I'm looking for a specific high chair (she gives me the brand and all that crap and I go check to see if we carry it)
Me: I'm sorry we don't carry that item.
Gues:Well I read that (store name) carries it so is there someone I can talk to to confirm this?
Me: Well it's most likely an online item so I would look there or I can give you the number to the Minneapolis (store) to see if they would have it.
Guest: Well before I call Mpls. I would like someone at your store to look online for me.
Me: I'm sorry we don't have access to ordering for guests
Guest: Nobody does?
Me:No I'm sorry you have to order it on your own
Guest: ok I'll just call Mpls store...hangs up
SHE CALLS BACK...
Guest: Hi I'm interested in a high chair and was just told by the Mpls. target that it's an online only item.
Me:ok so you will have to go online and purchase the item there.
Guest:Well I don't own a computer so I need to come into your store and use a computer so I can have someone order it for me, help me pay for it, and have it shipped to the address of the baby shower.
Me: I'm sorry we don't order items for guests.
Guest: I need to speak to a manager!
*I let the LOD deal with it!
PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID!!*

Me: How can I help you?
Guest:What time is your clinic open till?
Me: 4 on Sundays so they are closed
Guest: What day is it?
Me: It's Sunday
Guest: oh...um...hmmm...ok
Me: You can call back tomorrow when they open at 9
Guest: yeah....ok....silence for like 10 seconds
Me: ok thanks bye
Guest: Wait! Do you know how long a pee test takes?
Me: *trying not to laugh* no sorry I don't you'll have to speak to the clinic
Guest: oh......ok............ok............crap...............bye
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE AWKWARD??? WHY??? AND WHO THE FUCK ASKS SOMEONE THAT???